Will You Marry Me?
Why Young People are Scared of Tying the Knot:
It’s my opinion, and I’m sure your opinion, that relationships are difficult. Each year, the cost of living increases, while the average American’s income remains steady or decreases. What does this mean? In it’s simplest terms it means that both sexes have to work full time. So when you start a relationship, who is going to follow who’s career? Should the male follow the female or vice versa? Does it depend on the amount of money each is making or does it depend on which partner is happiest with their job? Can that aspect even be quantified? How can you ask your partner to give up their career aspirations for “love” or your relationship?
I’m sure many of you reading this are in a relationship, or have been in a relationship before. I’m sure most of you have been in relationships in the past that haven’t worked out as well. Why didn’t those relationships work out? Obviously you started the relationship because you were attracted to that person, but what happened over time? Did that person get “all crazy” on you? Did that person “play games” with you and you just couldn’t take it any more? Did you find someone new that you were more in tune with? If so, what happened in the relationship with the person that you were more “in tune” with?
Maybe you’ve been in the same relationship since your high school days and you’ve married that person and have been married for many years. If so, you obviously know that there must be compromises in your life. One of you is going to have to give up something in order to make the relationship work. Maybe you both just had to give up a little bit, but something is going to have to be sacrificed, be it a career, social, or personal goal or aspiration. If you are in the latter group, how did you decide which person was going to give up something? Well, I’m glad I wasn’t in the room when those discussions were happening, but if you stay in a relationship for years, you’ve definitely had those discussions, and if you’re still with that person, be happy… you truly love each other. Either that, or you’re just working as a great team!
So why are young people more and more afraid to tie the knot?
I believe that as our society puts more strain on the individual to make a living, both sexes are realizing that they must work hard to be the bread-winner because you just don’t know if you’ll find that “special someone”. So what do we do? We go through middle-school, then high-school, then off to college on the search of finding “happiness”. If you meet someone while you’re in college, how do you even begin to talk about which person’s career you’re going to follow? Most college students know that this topic is going to be an issue but put it out of their minds so they can enjoy the relationship in the “now” instead of worrying about problems that will most certainly arise.
As the young people continue to live in the “now” and for themselves, they continue on their path of career aspirations, working harder and longer to achieve their goals. I believe this makes it harder and harder for a potential relationship to work as people get older because they see that they may have to give up their current career goals and all the hard work they put in to achieve those goals for their partner. As that reality sets in over time, the relationship begins to deteriorate and arguments increase and continue to get worse until the relationship finally dissolves.
I dream of a day when we stop this madness. This is one social issue in our society where we need to take heed from our parents or grandparents. I know it’s difficult because our government and the corporations we work for place constraints on us by making the cost of living so high and restricting “free time”. This happens because they are outsourcing and sending jobs overseas, piling up national debt, and not giving or at least frowning upon vacation time and making their unwritten policies that you need to be in the office from 7 am until 7pm if you hope to be “successful”.
Ultimately, we need to take responsibility for our actions and what’s happening in our country, and that’s one of the main reason’s I started this blog. I want to change our society in the US for the better. I want good jobs for Americans so that one person can earn a living wage for their family without having to work 70 or 80 hours a week, or having to have a doctorate’s degree. I want normal people to stand up for what’s right instead of letting interest groups, religious fanatics, corporations, and anyone else that isn’t “normal”, dictate the direction of this countries policies and values. Once we get back to taking care of our own citizens, we can start to build families again. Young people will not be so concerned about “who is going to be the bread winner” or that they both have to be bread winners and end up hating each other when their plans change. When we can focus on our relationships instead of our careers, people instead of money, we will have healthier relationships and ultimately, a healthier civilization.
Please do what you can to help me change this country for the better. Make a donation to this site or submit an idea that we can work on in the projects section. Thank you for your support and if you have that somebody special in your life that you’ve been with for years and that has given up certain things in order to be with you, hug them and be very grateful that you have somebody that understands what life is all about.
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Good post. I agree we need to help other people because what goes around comes around!...
I agree with you that a shift in values needs to be made, but I’m not sure all of it comes from employers and corporations. People need assess what they want in their lives, and if they want to live as a family on one income, they have to be prepared to sacrifice. That means driving a smaller/cheaper car and possibly only having one car for the family. It means not going out to eat as often, and wearing shoes until they wear out. It means shopping at garage sales for pots and pans instead of Williams-Sonoma. Some of it is that people’s expectations have changed, not that they cannot afford to live off a single income.
Very insightful.