How to Find a Roommate
Is My New Roommate Going to be Psycho?
Finding a roommate that you don’t already know or that was not referred to you from a friend can be a daunting task. Many people move to new cities or move out of their home into a place that is new and they need to find a roommate. So what’s the best way to go about finding a roommate that you don’t know? How do you really know that this person is not going to do some weird stuff in your place when you’re not at home… or worse yet, when you are at home? All we can do is use our best judgment and a few of these following tips if possible.
Interview the potential roommate:
If possible, get together with the potential roommate and talk to them face to face. First, check their hygiene. See how they dress, and if they smell like something weird. That may seem funny, but if you notice their wearing dirty clothes and have a bad body odor and they didn’t just finish their shift at the stockyard, you may want to be cautious moving forward. I also recommend looking at their fingernails. If there’s dirt in there and they didn’t just finish digging a ditch… you may want to reconsider, unless you’re pretty dirty yourself, then you may be a good match!
Secondly, do your best to judge if they are kind. This can be a difficult task, especially if you have no idea how to judge someone based on meeting them for the first time. I recommend listening to how they talk and what they say. If you are talking with your potential roommate and all they do is talk about themselves and what they’re up to, you know you may have to give more than you receive in the roommate relationship. If all they do is ask you questions and refrain from talking about themselves or give vague answers when asked about “personal” topics, that is a sign that they may have something to hide. Don’t exclude that person, because they may be timid or shy for a good reason. Personally, I would rather have a shy roommate than one that brings home ten people a night having parties!
In the simplest terms you want to see if the person is dressed “nice,” clean, and understands how to give and take in a conversation. That is a lot of work for you to do in one meeting so read what I recommend next…
Meet with the potential roommate a second time… and have them bring a friend or family member if possible!
If you can get this done, you’re in good shape. First, meeting with the potential roommate and one of their acquaintances will give you an idea of what kind of person you’re dealing with. If they bring a family member, you know they are close with their family. That can be good or bad of course, bad if it’s the Manson family if you know what I mean! Just use your best judgment and try to pay attention to detail.
If they bring a friend, are they kind to their friend(s)? You can tell a lot about how your potential roommate is going to treat you if you see how they treat their friends. All you’re looking for is someone that will be kind to you in a roommate relationship, so seeing how that person treats their friends will give you insight into how they are going to treat you!
Verify, Verify, Verify
I can’t say it enough. Verify what they tell you. “Where do you work?” - verify. “How is your credit?” - verify. “Do you have a criminal background?” - verify. I want to trust people and take them for their word just as much as you do, but ultimately, if we’re moving in with someone we don’t know, we need to verify everything we can about them, especially the criminal background if possible. I have no problem doing that for someone just as I would want them to be ok with me verifying their background. If they have a problem with you verifying their background, red flag city.
So that’s about it. You met with the potential roommate and did your due diligence by seeing if they are clean, kind, and “give and take” during conversation. You met with them on a second occasion and hopefully were able to meet a friend or family member to see how they treat their acquaintances. Lastly, you verified what they’ve told you. If it’s all checked out and you still feel comfortable, you have a potential roommate! Now, let’s just hope they feel the same about you!
I’m writing about this topic because I recently went through this process myself. My old roommate moved to Texas pretty suddenly and I had to find someone quickly! Talk about being scared! I just turned 30 and I did not want to have to live with a 55 year old man that was a loser, nor a 21 year old guy that wanted to party all of the time. So what did I do? I went online and searched for people looking for roommates. I sent a response to quite a few people that were looking for roommates in my area. Some people were going to be moving to the area, and some people just wanted a place to live. Let me just say that I got very lucky (well, it’s kind of early considering the roommate is moving in tomorrow, but as of now, I think I’m lucky! 
) My new roommate was the first person to respond so I set up a meeting with her first. I’ve already met with my new roommate on a few occasions and met her mom, her mom’s friends, and one of her friends that she brought to the bar one time. As far as my judgment can tell, she seems like a very kind person and she will be a very good roommate. She’s 21 or 22… (sorry if you’re reading this! I do need to work on my listening skills!!) very kind to her mom and her friend that I met, and I believe will be a good roommate.
I know I got very lucky with this one, again, as far as I can tell so far. I know I could have spent a couple weeks interviewing and showing my apartment before I finally found someone that was decent and had the potential to be a good roommate. However, I would not have, and I recommend you don’t, settle for someone just because you need the money. Interview and meet as many people as it takes until you find someone that you think you can live with. Try to take the steps I mentioned above. After all, you are going to be living with this person so you want to do as much due diligence as possible before allowing someone to live in your home. Hopefully you will get lucky like I did (or she did ), but don’t settle for a shady roommate until you’ve exhausted all options and have no other choice. If you do have to settle for a shady roommate, take every step you can to make sure you have outs should the worst happen or you find them unbearable to live with.
Good luck and you will find someone that is nice, there are a lot of good people out there… if you are a good person, they will be attracted to you. If you have time read my post “What’s In It for Me?” where I talk a little bit about being a nice person and attracting people to yourself.
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