Good Social Questions
What Should I Ask?
Have you ever gone to a social event, be it a Christmas party, a meeting, a wedding, or any other functioin where you know you’re going to have to meet new people, and you just don’t know what to say or ask to someone you’ve just met? Are you tired of asking the same question “So, what do you do?” If so, here are a few ways to break the ice in different situations.
1. You are the host.
In this situation maybe you’re hosting a dinner party or another social networking event. People start arriving to your home or where the event is being held. If you have your event held at a place that has games and things to do, you can already have some events planned for your guests such as shuffleboard tournaments, pool tournaments, and a card game going on. If you’re having the gathering at your home, you may want to invest in a game like “Scene It” or another game you can play with your guests. Regardless of the situation, you will start to meet people that you don’t know, so what do you ask of people coming to your event? Here’s a couple questions for someone that’s at your event that you don’t know that may help you get started (after the initial introduction pleasantries of course):
1. How do you know [the person that brought them]?
a. follow up or expound on that question if appropriate.
2. Have you lived in this area long?
a. If yes - Where did you go to college?
b. If no - How did you end up here?
3. Do you like sports?
a. If yes - Great, we’re going to play [fill in the blank] before the dinner/movie/whatever.
b. If no - That’s ok, do you think you can handle a little [whatever games you have planned] before the dinner/movie/whatever… don’t worry, I think most of us are novices at this stuff too so we’re equally matched!
Hopefully those few suggestions will break the ice and get you on your way to meeting new people at your hosted event.
2. You’re going to a hosted event.
In this situation there are two basic scenario’s. The first is that you’re going to the event alone and do not know anybody! AHHH… terrifying for some people I know. The second is that you’re meeting someone or going with someone you know to the event. First and foremost your main objective is to get to the person who hosted the event and thank them for hosting and/or having you at the event.
1. Going alone.
When you arrive, you want to of course just smile and greet everyone with common pleasantries, shaking hands and exchanging in small talk. Hopefully the event planner will have some games or snacks/drinks that people will gather around or be playing and you can venture from group to group and try out your new approaches and questions. Again, your main objective in the beginning is to get to the host and thank them for hosting and having you there. Then I suggest walking to an area where there are consumables. You want to give yourself a “prop” such as a drink or something to snack on. This may give you a chance to get in line or at least be in an area where people are getting things to eat or drink. I rarely find people in a bad mood when they’re getting free food or drink, so this is the place to say hello to someone new. You may ask the person standing next to you something like:
1. Hello there… do you know [the host]?
a. If yes - Oh really? How do you know him/her or how long have you known him/her? You can follow up on this question however is appropriate.
b. If no - Oh really? Who are you here with? Does he/she know the host? Well, let me grab this drink and I’d like to come meet you guys, or, I’d like to meet your friends, do you mind if I come talk to you guys (or play that game with you guys) after I grab this food?
2. Going with someone or meeting someone at the event.
This scenario is pretty easy because if you start to feel awkward you can wander around looking for the person you’re supposed to meet, or went with to the event. If the person you are supposed to meet hasn’t arrived, just use the tip above I mentioned about going alone.
That’s it… not an elaborate manual about public speaking or social interaction, but hopefully this gives you an idea of a couple of the first steps you can take in a few different situations in order to be comfortable and make others comfortable. If you have any suggestions or ideas to expound on my tips, let us know.
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Anessa...
how you not like to drink. Its cool unlike you...
Chris...
What would happen if McCain DOES become president!!!?? He does have an awful temper....
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