Why do bathroom doors have handles on the inside??
Here’s something that doesn’t make any sense. Why would you install a bathroom door so that the handle is on the INSIDE?? Everyone knows that not everyone washes their hands after “taking the Browns to the Super Bowl”… so I don’t want to be pulling on the same door handle as them after they just patted the quarterback on the butt.
Here are some options for those of us that don’t like to wash our hands only to cover them with feces while leaving the bathroom:
1. The “Harlem Globetrotter”: This only works if there is a paper towel dispenser in the bathroom. After you finish washing your hands, dry them with the paper towels but use an extra paper towel when drying so when you’re leaving the bathroom, you have enough dry towel to pull on the door handle with your balled up paper towels. When exiting the bathroom, pull a fade-away jumper with your balled up paper towels… you may have to bank off a wall or throw around a corner (trick shot) in order to get the paper towels in the basket.
2. The “Handicapper”: When all you have to use is a blow dryer, you will have to pull “The Handicapper”. What you do here is balance yourself on one leg and slide the toes of your raised foot into the door handle. Open the door with your foot and then use your free arm to prop the door open. This can be dangerous and I do not recommend women doing this maneuver if they are wearing high heals… you will want to use the last resort coming up next.
3. The “Lazy Bum”: Well, there’s not much too this one and it really is the last resort. Use only if you are wearing high heals, the door has a nob or isn’t big enough to get your toes behind, or there aren’t any paper towels. After you wash and dry your hands with the blow dryer, just stand there like a lazy bum until someone else opens the door for you. You may have to wait a minute or two, but you won’t be eating poop for dinner!
I really wish I knew what was going on in the minds of the people installing the doors that you have to pull open from the inside. I’m assuming they are the same people that don’t wash their hands after using the restroom so it never crosses their minds. If you ever speak with someone that installs bathroom doors, I would suggest you bow when greeting them.
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